Chinese Dads are Asexual

Chinese parents suck at talking to kids about sex. I'm sure it's tough regardless of your ethnicity, but Chinese parents seem to extra suck at it. You add that to a modest culture and the fact that in society, up until recently, Chinese guys have been seen as asexual, and you get a tumultuous adolescence, particularly if you consider yourself a Christian.

There is lots of discussion on this topic so I won't go there this time, but there is a sub-topic that fascinates me. It's awkward for me to think about, but I can't for the life of me see a Chinese dad as a sexual being. It's already weird (and rare, I think) to see sexual situations in Asian media/dramas, but in real life it's even weirder. Recently, I was at a wedding where I heard that one of the dads in the wedding had cheated on the mom with her close friend. This was saddening, but not necessarily surprising since it's the type of drama you hear about a lot, especially on all these reality TV shows. However, then you remember that the dad we're talking about is someone like this:

and then it's like, "Whaaa..?!" You think all they care about is making money, making sure their offspring are successful, and solving engineering/math/medical problems. It's hard for me to think that they even have a horny bone in them. I don't think I've ever seen a Chinese dad check out another woman.

As I've gotten older and have come across more of our Chinese church gossip (which is a big problem, btw), there are lots of stories floating around about how various men have cheated. It's a sad (but not uncommon) situation, but I keep getting caught up on, "They...are out there....having sex?! *shiver* *dunks head in cold water*"

Wide Eyed Widening Heart

Let's be clear.  Being Chinese-American, I do not have wide eyes.  However, being Chinese American, it is engrained in me to try and anticipate others' needs which makes me sensitive to people and non-verbal communication.  For some reason, I make lots of observations on people and social situations and usually, I try to connect the dots - sometimes accurately, sometimes not.  On the not-so-rare occasion when I share my thought out loud, it is not uncommon for people to never have considered it or they weren't crazy enough to go so far as to intellectualize it or both.  Fortunately (unfortunately?), this same observational neurosis applies to myself as well.  Though I have normal-ish sized eyes, I live in the world with my eyes wide open, observing, judging, discerning, and learning.

Being a cradle Catholic with evangelical sensibilities, I love the Catholic Church and am amazed at the Holy Spirit's work in the Evangelical community.  I strive to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus Christ and I am unafraid to question my own beliefs, assumptions, biases, and situations.  There are few things that I am afraid to talk about both serious and light-hearted and the hope is that this leads my heart to become wider so that I become the man God created me to be and that I learn to love as God loves.

Clear eyes.  Full hearts.  Can't lose.