The Feet Who Bring Glad Tidings

As we were waiting at the stoplight at a busy intersection on our way to Christmas Day Mass this morning, a woman struggling with a small roller bag walked up to the corner of the sidewalk by the right turn lane in our direction and held up a sign saying she was homeless and needed help. 

Immediately, my mind went through its normal "what should I do when I see a homeless person" inner-monologue routine. 

"Why is she there?  It's Christmas Day, no one should be out there in the rain.  Hm...if you were going to try and take advantage of people, pulling on their heartstrings today would definitely do it.  Stop judging!  I have some cash, I should give her some money.  But wait!  How long have I been at this light?  The light might turn green any second..."

My mind then went into parallel processing mode and I started scanning the stoplights in other directions to figure out when my light was going to turn green while continuing to think...

"I should at least give her some cash now.  Or we'll come back after Mass and see if we can meet a need more deeply - perhaps pay for a motel room for the night.  But no way she's still going to be standing there more than an hour later.  I could just reach out the window and try to hand her the cash.  But I'm in the furthest left lane.  But why am I so worried about inconveniencing a few people for a few seconds while I try to serve someone.  But what about her safety?"

All of this builds and builds (sometimes feeling like this) and then the light turns green.  "Okay," I think, "We'll definitely come back after Mass." 

During the homily at Mass, the priest talked mainly about the first reading from Isaiah 52:7-10, specifically about verse 7:

"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings glad tidings"

He mentioned how in about a year from now, at the beginning of next Advent Season, the Gospel reading will be from Matthew 25 and what it means for us to be active in bringing glad tidings this year, feeding the hungry among other things. 

<sigh> My ears were burning.

We went back after Mass to look for this woman.  She was nowhere to be found.  I pray that God gives her what she needs...and hopefully my feet will be the one who can bring glad tidings next time.

Midnight Mass

Chritsmas Eve Midnight Mass is always an interesting one for me.  In my experience, it's rarely at midnight and it's always one of the most heavily attended Masses of the year very frequently being standing room only.  I think it's because in addition to the normal parishioners, there is an additional combination of first time visitors, old parishioners who have been away temporarily or permanently (like in college or working somewhere else), and then all the C.E.O. (Christmas and Easter Only) Catholics come out as well. 

I don't know about you, but for me, I always have a hard time focusing on the liturgy during Christmas Eve Mass.  I tend to find myself looking around at all the people getting distracted by all the new faces and the old familiar ones.  I find myself wondering what old friends who have been away are up to now, but at the same time also totally judging the college kids who I know have gone wild (via Facebook) and those folks that clearly haven't been to Mass in ages and can barely remember what to do. 

Yikes, it gets pretty nasty up there.

This year, I'm spending the holidays with the in-laws who are out-of-state and Protestant.  My wife and I attended "Midnight Mass" (at 5PM) at the local parish where we go whenever we are back.  The children's choir was leading the music which was cute and all, but some of the logistics didn't seem thought through which led to some distractingly bad liturgy (think lots of socializing during the Offering of the Gifts with no music).  In addition, I had a hard time not noticing the large three generation family in front of us who were passing out mentos to each other (adults included) during Mass and laughing to each other during the consecration. 

As I tried to pray, I couldn't help but ask full of judgmental, sarcastic incredulity, "Jesus, we're waiting in 'joyful hope' for you to come back to this <mentally gesturing to all of the things I saw was wrong>?!"

My next thought fully aware of my own negative, hardened heart and becoming so awestruck at the sheer craziness of it all, "Wow.  Jesus, you came into the world for this?  You came into the world for me?"

I guess all of that brokenness is exactly why God sent Jesus for.  I knew that.  But I'm still not done knowing that.