Thursday, January 17, 2013

I'm going Kuku-a

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This must be what it's like to be high.  Though in full disclosure, the closest I ever came was after spending a couple minutes in my freshman dorm room after my roommate had finished up his business and feeling a strong craving for Doritos.  The same roommate who upon walking in on him watching porn turned back to me to exclaim frat boy style, "Yeah, bro.  Porn!" and proceeded to give me a thumbs up with his free hand.  At least that's how I remembered it.  For whatever reason, we got along really well for the one semester we lived together.

But I digress.  I'm referring to how I felt after reading the Deadspin article on Manti Te'o dead girlfriend hoax

There's no shortage of speculation into what actually happened so I'm not even going to try.  These are simply some of my slightly interpretative observations as I follow the reactions.
  • After watching and hearing a bunch of talking heads, I've noticed that the more times an anchor or reporter says the name, "Lennay Kukua," the more ridiculous it seems to them to keep saying the name of someone who doesn't exist.  The more the name is said over a short period of time, the more ridiculous the name sounds.  Sort of like looking at a word until it seems spelled wrong.

  • The woman whose picture was used to impersonate "Lennay Kukua" is attractive enough that her real identity is probably going to come out at some point.  She might possibly Katherine Webb that action.

  • The name "Lennay Kukua" will become a cultural catch-phrase to describe something related to whatever the final generally accepted explanation is.  So far, the memes are mainly descriptive like Dos Equis and Clint Eastwood.

  • When watching coverage, I'm impressed at all the impeccably pronounced (or confidently mispronounced) Pacific Islander (read: Samoan) names.  They sure are unique like all those "D" apostrophe names.

  • Too bad for Oprah who waited a day too long to air her Lance Armstrong interview.  She can go home and cry to her billions.

  • What's with Reagan Maui'a coming out of left field saying he met Lennay Kukua?  Right now, he feels like the bumbling idiot who accidentally walks into a situation and tries to fix it while all the people that were already there are like, "WTF are you doing?"  Still, given the current explanation for how the hoax came to light was the girl calling Te'o wanting to restart the relationship, there seems to be a real live girl on the other end of this.

  • This story is so bizarre that there seem to be holes everywhere you turn.  It does seems that the collective subconscious is trying to resolve the story in a binary fashion.  Either Manti Te'o was a completely naive and trusting individual (who will never trust the same way again - Notre Dame's angle via Jack Swarbrick) or he was in on it carefully plotting every word in every interview (more or less Deadspin's angle).  This is not going to resolve cleanly.  Te'o doesn't have to be THE victim or THE perpetrator.  Culpability remains to be seen.

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