Saturday, July 16, 2011
Of course things change after you get married. But one of the things that I didn't really expect to change was kissing. Still, I guess I could have expected it based on the decidedly non-sexual way that elderly couples kiss even when it's supposed to be passionate (think kiss cams at sporting events).
Why did it change? Well, for me, I think it had something to do with our commitment to save sex until marriage. Think about it, if kissing is the only physical act that is "integrously okay" (ie. affection with integrity, not including "accidental" boobage brushes or extra close hugging of the entire torso, just sayin'), then prior to marriage for a chaste couple, there's gotta be an unbelievable amount of sexual tension behind every kiss - which was true at least for me (and a natural part of the commitment).
Now that we are happily married and enjoying the fullness of our bodies, the built up sexual tension has long been released or at the very least, significantly less. This had made kissing as a physical act much more pure. Initially, it felt like a negative thing, but that was probably because previously, there was so much oomph behind each kiss and makeout session. Now, it feels like a much more beautiful thing because it contains its purity in its one-of-many expressions of love that we have for each other and not re-actively a means to express sexual frustration. A piece of advice that I heard during marriage prep was to practice times of kissing that does not lead to sex. As a Catholic, that fits very nicely into pregnancy avoidant times of NFP :).