where I would turn down sex. It didn't seem possible that there could
be an opportunity to unite with my wife and I wouldn't feel up for it.
I used to always joke, "Every hour on the hour!"
It's sort of surprising then that in the busyness of life, I find
there are moments when I'm not that interested. In the moment, I just
don't feel like it, but looking at it through the lens of my
premarried days, it's crazy. Usually, it's because I'm in a good
groove working through emails or I'm a bit anxious about getting some
ministry prep done or I'm in the middle of Sportscenter or a game. My
premarried self would want to kick my ass for writing that last
sentence. Funny how that works and it's a little convicting thinking
about my availability to my wife.
More and more I understand why my spiritual director always tells me
to look for my libido to act up when I slow down or go on a personal
retreat. It's so interesting how busyness can suppress the libido and
how eventually it needs to be expressed in some way. It makes sense
then that without slowing down and in the midst of busyness, it can
get expressed in some pretty destructive ways.